This is nothing against people who have bucket lists or before 30 lists or what have you. I probably should have more of a list and push myself, but right now, I’m focusing on being low-key and not beating myself up for what I am or am not doing.
When I was little, I really wanted to sky dive before I turned 30. Of course, I also thought I would own a pink convertible and marry my childhood or high school sweetheart and have all the kids I was going to before 30. Oh and travel. And have a fantastic job. Children really are drunk adults, aren’t they?
I’m not entirely where I thought I would be, and that’s okay. I DID accomplish one of the things on my list–I married my best friend. Tom Petty says “the waiting is the hardest part,” and falling in love with the right person was surprisingly difficult. Movies and tv trick us into thinking love is simple, but it’s not. So I’m really glad I can cross that one off.
Since Parker asked me, I’ve been contemplating. I realized that, for me, having a “Before 30” bucket list was a little silly. I can’t do everything great before the big 3-0 right? What on earth would there be left to do? I don’t want to be the person who accomplishes everything then goes into a deep depression because there is “nothing left.” It’s ridiculous, I admit, because there’s always something else, but I could see it happening. What would be left if I got everything I wanted before then?
There is also the understanding that wanting and getting it don’t always bring great happiness. Sabrina the Teenage Witch taught me that lesson, and I’ve never forgotten it.
While we’re on the topic of lists, I came across this one the other day called 25 Things You Keep in Your Life That Are Only Holding You Back. It made me incredibly angry, not because I qualify for a minimal amount but the idea that someone might qualify for all of them. I was reassured by the fact that I don’t do the majority of these.
The other component to this is that I don’t have a lot of short term, specific goals. My goals mainly consist of big things, and I know from experience that those are the type of commitments you can’t rush (house, kids, a yard, a career). I used to get irritated with how long my painting was taking, and if tried to hurry, I would get carried away and take short cuts. The result would be either a ruined picture or being dissatisfied because “it still doesn’t look right, but I’m too impatient to keep going.”
Because I’m aware of my impatience, I am not going to make that list. I am going to be the tortoise and not the hare. That is not a short term goal but something I plan on working on for the rest of my life. It will probably take that long, because I’m really far away from that virtue.
What about you, bloggers? Do you have a “Before (insert age here)” list? If so, what’s on the list?