I took my dog on a walk today. The weather has been great! I was trying to hurry out the door so I could come home and make food not long after, so swiped two baggies from kitchen and stuffed them in my walking purse as I was running out the door with the dog (anytime I refer to bag in this, I mean a plastic bag). Normally, I have more time to inspect them, but the weather has been really touch and go.

When I went to pick up my dog’s poop, I saw that one of the bags had a massive hole in it. I had my apple core in the alternative bag that was in my purse to avoid littering. I could still use it as a cover to pick up the poop and place it in the bag with the core. However, on the off chance that the plastic bag with the core had a slight hole I had missed (the bags are pretty thin which is why I use two just in case), I didn’t want to avoid littering little poos on the sidewalk, and obviously I wasn’t going to stuff both into my walking purse which is made of material. So I put the plastic cover containing poop in the apple-core plastic bag and looked for a garbage can. I was right next to one! How perfect!

The second I placed it in the garbage and closed the lid, I heard, “Really?” The owner of the house with the garbage can was glaring at me with her hands on her hips. Note that she wasn’t close (maybe 7 yards or so), but she did look red with anger.

I didn’t know what to say. I mean, now I was scared of her and didn’t want to explain the situation. So I said the first thing that came to me that was about as sassy as I could handle.

“Do you want me to take it back?”

I looked back at the garbage can and began to open it. I was sure she was going to say yes. If you’re one of the people who’s angry enough to yell at someone for picking up the poop from your yard to throw it away either in your garbage can or elsewhere, then you’re probably capable of all kinds of things.

“Ewwwwwwwww,” I heard her say. “It was in your PURSE! Ewwww.” Then she went back in the house.

Did she think my apple core was poop in the other bag? Or that I’d somehow picked up dog poop with my bare hands (I hadn’t, there was a clear plastic cover to keep me poop-free)? Or maybe she was just disgusted that I was willing to take it back? Lady, it’s trash. Trash is gross. It doesn’t matter if it’s yours or mine. Trash is indefinitely gross. It seemed like she was angry past the point of conversation, and I really didn’t want to stick around long enough to begin a discourse town hall weigh in on feces with the person who was shame yelling at me earlier. I realize that I probably should’ve put it in the one bag with the apple core, but if you’ve ever been walking a dog and realized that the poo is falling out of your bag, well, it’s just a much cleaner situation to get rid of the very thin bag right there. And it was one of those moments where I didn’t want to drop the poop by examining the apple core bag which I’d pulled out of the purse while all the time still holding the leashed dog. It seemed like a lot of things to drop, and I made a snap decision.

Besides, would you rather the dog walker just leave the poop in your yard? It seems much ruder to me, and if I’d been able to explain myself better, maybe she would’ve agreed with me. In fact if I had seen her standing there, I would’ve just carried the poop in the plastic bag OR asked her for a second bag to put the first bag in. Anyway, I guess I’ll never know now. But if you see someone pick up poop and throw the poop IN A BAG away in your garbage can, I suggest you let them. Next time, they’ll leave the poop, or maybe worse, throw it at you. Either way, this is one of the best outcomes you can expect.