For the last few months, politics has been much, much worse. Maybe you’ve noticed?
But what makes it even more unbearable is the fact that I am unable to argue effectively.
This has never been a skill of mine. I’ve always been bad under pressure, I literally forget words when I’m angry, and am terrible at metaphors. I try to research what I’m saying, but I can’t even find what I want. EVER. It’s painful to me, because pop culture holds the predisposition that women are good at arguing. And I would literally rather stone someone to death and then get the death penalty than be forced to have to talk to them about why I think they’re a stupid, poopyhead.
Unfortunately, I still get mad, and feel the need to voice these opinions which are then rendered as weak by my peers.
Which would be fine, if I could argue the equivalent of this
It doesn’t matter what the subject is, I’m equally bad at arguing any of them. In high school, I only picked speech and debate, because some idiot at the high school’s administration office put all of the electives during the SAME period. The good news is that most of the people in the class were freshmen, which actually gave me something of an advantage.
I’m pretty lucky I’m not the main character in Gathering Blue, because she has to stand up for her life with words. I’d probably end up stabbing myself through the stomach with my own knife just so I didn’t have to through the anxiety of the process. Just thinking about that makes me break out in sweat, but on the other hand, I’m already feeling under the weather, so I’m sweating regardless.
I was reading a non-fictional book the other day, and one of the topics it discusses is how you’re NOT supposed to stew in your anger or push it down inside you or express it in rageful ways, because it can make you sicker. The book asks you to be “productive” with your anger, and maybe that’s the problem. I don’t know how to do this. I can’t bury it, plant seeds there, and have the seeds grow into flowers. What happens when I try to be productive with my anger, is that I over-exercise and end up making myself sick.
I found this picture last night, and this is my current resolution:
I realize that you, the reader, may also be angry and want a solution for this. I don’t have solutions for this particular problem at this time. All I have is gifs, because I’ve recently noticed that I’m bad at coming up with solutions for this, but I’m slightly better at distracting myself.
If you’re out there like me, and you are also bad at arguing but still get mad about stuff, I’d love to hear your ideas. Or maybe if you’re GOOD at arguing, do you just have like some back-up articles or what? What’s your secret!? The person