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It’s strangely comforting how that page loading “beep beep boop” that pops up for a new post is. Y’all feel that, right?

I rescued a poncho that is 1. decidedly uncool, and 2. likely too small after ignoring washing instructions (Jerry Seinfeld approves, I am sure), and it’s become part of my sofa ensemble.* The dog loves it so much that when her blankets were somehow removed from said island of cushions (Husband must have done this, because it implies cleaning), the poncho remained to quell her fears of all covers abandoning her. She becomes indignant if I try to remove it, but isn’t completely convinced that she likes it. You know, like your friend from junior high/elementary school that Cosmo once informed me is called a Band-aid.

My pooch pal thinks it’s a blanket, so insists on being underneath it even when I am wearing it, but BECAUSE it is a poncho and not a real blanket, she gets annoyed, because once she’s under it, it doesn’t completely coat her body throughout so she has to manipulate it more than ever to get comfortable. Additionally, the texture leaves something to be desired and is nowhere near as soft as her preferred choices.

Also, she licks her butt underneath it so sometimes I lift it and a noxious scent greets me. So far, it’s just a passing smell and has not become part of the poncho’s anti-charm–maybe just charm…we are talking about a poncho that I called part of my Sofa Ensemble after all. Two negatives make a positive? At least in math.

Yet she hates clothes, so this is the closest she gets to some kind of lame fashion show.

Okay, it didn’t work. I thought blogging would somehow push the reset button on being productive today. I’m going to have to re-start this party myself, manually.

BYE.

*Sofa Ensemble: You might know them as sweats, but they’re more inclusive than that. The “wear it until it reeks then consider washing it, wear it one more time, and then burn instead of cleaning” outfit that shouldn’t be used to leave the house, but might happen if you’re sleepy enough and running errands before you’ve had coffee. If you blinked in response of this statement instead of some kind of chuckle/nod combination, we’re likely¬†never going to meet again and are sure-fire enemies. Huzzah!

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