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Parker asked me what movie I wanted to watch, and while I was getting ready to make a decision about that, I started thinking about It’s a Wonderful Life. I thought about how George’s life actually does kind of suck, even if he’s a nice person. I thought about how sometimes I am a little like George, but not regular George, the Life-Sucks-Tonight George. I am mostly not like George at all, I decided, I am like Uncle Billy. Except I don’t work at a bank.

Then I thought about how George totally could’ve gotten out of the responsibility of inheriting the bank if he was 1) born second or 2) more like Uncle Billy.

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In fact, if George were like Uncle Billy, and not just pretending (which George would never even think to do), no one would even give him a bank so one of his problems would be solved.* Then I started asking myself, why DO they let Uncle Billy work at the bank? There’s no way that he only lost one envelope of money the entire time he worked there. He’s a massive liability.

I know why George would let him work there: George is nice, George’s dad already had Uncle Billy on staff, and George probably isn’t wily enough to get rid of him (just like he’s not wily enough to patent his plastics idea so Sam steals his idea and gives him nothing–really, George should have ALL of Sam’s money and not just Sam’s old girlfriend**). But even then, couldn’t they have worked out a retirement plan or something? Like even paying Billy to not be there would be better than Uncle Billy being there.

What if that’s why people go to Potter at all? Because Uncle Billy still works at George’s bank. Maybe that’s why people go to Potter’s bank at all. Maybe people even switched to Potter’s bank.

Anyway, so I’m sure George’s bank will get much better after Billy retires. Also after George can push the bank off on his own kids. Unless they’re all like Uncle Billy too. Then that town is pretty screwed.

*If you finished reading this before you got to the asterisk, you’ll know that what I pretty much figured out that the logic from this movie doesn’t work, because if I was in It’s a Wonderful Life, they would STILL give me a bank, because Billy works at one in it.

**Which brings up another good point…in the angel’s fake, alternative universe, Mary is an old maid. Is this because of Sam’s laugh? Because Mary totally is not single. I don’t care what Clarence showed him, I think Clarence is just too nice to make up a universe where Mary is boning Sam Wainwright. Sure, sure, kill off the brother, but don’t let Mary leave town and be rich. That will definitely send George back to jumping. Who knows? Maybe Clarence’s universe is lies…could that be possible?

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