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Last week, I set out rolls, because I thought it would be a tasty precursor to Thanksgiving. Parker asked if I was going to make them “the fast way.” I said yes, and left them on the counter.

Parker (a few minutes later): Uh, what are you doing?

Me: Pre-heating the oven. To make rolls.

Parker: That’s not the fast way to make them. They’ll rise at this rate in approximately 4 hours.

I don’t know what I THOUGHT I heard him say, because I was doing other things, but I put them in a bowl of water to thaw (NO) and then put them in the oven for an hour and a half. Then I took them out, emptied the water, put them back in and baked them.

When Parker took them out, he was like, “Something’s wrong with the rolls. They didn’t bake all the way.”

“I put them in boiling water like you said and pre-heated them in the oven.”

“You what? No. Why would you put them in boiling water?”

Me: I don’t know! I thought you said to do that.

Parker: I never said that. I said to put a bowl of boiling water below them so they’ll rise and not lose moisture. Then you bake them after that.

Me: I thought the directions you gave me were weird, but to be fair, putting boiling water on a rack below regular frozen rolls sounds just as crazy. Baking and cooking in general make absolutely no sense to me.

Most of them were still pretty tasty. They were still better than the rolls my grandma had for Thanksgiving.

Tonight, I ran the dishwasher. I put more soap in the dishwasher than necessary, because the top rack has been getting less clean than the bottom one even though we ran a rinse cycle through the dishwasher.

When Parker went in the kitchen a minute ago, he said, casually. “Uh, I don’t know what’s wrong with the dishwasher, but it’s overflowing.”

“WHAT!?” I immediately freaked out.

Parker: Yeah, there are suds everywhere.

Me: Why would–oh, never mind, that was me.

Parker: What was you?

Me: I put extra dish soap in the dishwasher.

Parker: Which soap?

(I point to the liquid soap for washing pots and pans.)

Parker: You can’t use that. It gets too sudsy. There are too many bubbles, and then the dishwasher overflows.

Me: Well, I didn’t KNOW that. They say don’t do it, but they don’t say why. I’ve done it before, and I felt like the dishes got cleaner. But I didn’t use as much before. Did I break it?

Parker: No, you didn’t break it. There were just a lot of suds. It should be fine. Just don’t do that again.

I am definitely one of those people that you have to explain the reason why you cannot do something. Because if you just tell me not to do it, I’ll assume that it’s an arbitrary rule that actually carries no meaning and weight. And then you end up with half baked rolls (yes, I should have been listening) and an overflowing dishwasher.

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