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(Parker’s eyes are closed)
Me: Hon? Are you sleeping?

Parker: Sorry, I drank most of a bottle of port. What you’re seeing is me inebriated. Also, I have “Part of Your World” stuck in my head…

Me: This is so weird! My friend just posted about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and I had a dream about them last night!! This is the second dream I have ever had about them, and the first one in AT LEAST 20 years. It was primarily about the orange one…okay, that sounds a little sketchy.

Parker: Was it a sex dream?

Me: Fortunately, no! Can you look him up? Because my friend was talking about Raphael, and it would be extra weird if it was the same turtle.

Parker: You dreamed about Michelangelo, which makes sense, because he’s the funny one. He spends a lot of time surfing.

Me: What this quiz SHOULD be called is “The Hardest Zoolander Quiz You Will Ever Take.” Because it is. Which is to say that it is also the only one I have ever taken. I am so disappointed. I thought I knew that movie better than this.

Parker: We will just have to watch it again. We should watch it TONIGHT.

Me: Okay, but I want to watch this video called “The Top 10 Movie Theme Songs of All Time.”

Parker: That’s fine, but as soon as it is over, that is it. No more internet videos. We have a movie to watch.

Parker: Your mom asked if I was getting you shoes for your birthday. It’s like she doesn’t even know you.