“Lina listened with dismay. ‘You mean,’ she said, ‘that we really don’t know much more than we did three days ago?’
‘We know a little more,’ said Doon. ‘Do you wish we hadn’t come?’
Lina realized she didn’t really wish that. ‘No,’ she said, smiling back. ‘I’m glad we came.’ ” –The Diamond of Darkhold
It can take us the longest time to try to figure out aspects about ourselves, and that was why I had such a hard time with our Christmas letter. We moved home, and that was the big event in our life this calendar year. I didn’t find a way to aptly describe my feelings until long after the letter was sent.
Recently, my life has specialized in making me feel older, making me feel humbler, and making me realize that I don’t have to try to be funny when I post.
We rely on set things to make us happy, and we’re constantly seeking out distractions to “fix” our lives. Christmas is often an unfortunate reminder in how our lives are comprised more of material possessions as opposed to quality experiences and our communion with each other. It’s taking me a long time for me to try to find solace in just BEING.
The past few years have been an exercise in patience. I have none, so coming back seemed like the solution to all my problems. The past few months have been a continuing education in remembering that nothing is as simple as we’d like it to be. Moving didn’t fix all my problems, just like how in Big Daddy throwing newspaper over urine doesn’t make it go away…
I’ve been brewing, or pouting in silence, and all the while, I’ve been trying to figure out how to face my problems. Yet, a few important things happened this Christmas season and end of year to wake me up.
The Lives of Others
When met face to face with the challenges people are facing, I remembered that I don’t have it quite as badly as they do. This realization made me feel drastically better about my life.
My Bag of Destiny
At Christmas, one of my bosses gave us all individual letters and put random brown bags out in the common area. In all of our letters had a note entitled “A Note From the Universe” in which it said “When you are faced with adversity, laugh long and hard, for it is temporary and you are infinite.”
Acceptance in “Ordinary”
The last moment of clarity came during a church service, where the priest said that even though we may feel ordinary, we are in the hands of a master artist, so what can happen in our life or what we are used for is extraordinary.
This coming year, I will be working on harder to achieve a level of acceptance in what is and a dedication to be making small changes to positively affect my life.