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Right now, the weirdest thing I’m doing is putting together a Halloween costume.

I know, it’s November 2nd. However, we have a party tonight, and I still don’t exactly know what I’m going to be. It occurs to me (as it does every year) that I put together costumes differently than anyone I know.

How I Make Costume Decisions:

  • Gather data through every pop culture obscurity I know and make an ongoing list that only ends when a decision has been made. For me, the harder the inside-joke, the further it is towards the top of my list. Parker never fails to point out that my amusement over how awesome I could look and how much pride I might have in the weirdest references possible will leave me annoyed later when I am the only person that gets the joke. He’s right too, because deep down, we all kind of want to be liked.
  • This year was a little different, because I finally admitted to myself right after Halloween last year that I run out of ideas the second the Spirit Halloween store goes up in the neighborhood. So I made a list all year.
  • Print the list. Forget the list at home.
  • Go to multiple Halloween stores and spend hours looking around for something to wear. There are TOO MANY CHOICES!
  • Tell myself that I should do a home-made costume.
  • Remember that I don’t sew, and vow to go back to the store and make a decision.
  • Add more ideas to the list but no solutions to these ideas.
  • Procrastinate actually picking a costume.
  • Forget every time I’m supposed to be looking and do other things instead!
  • Pick up one item at the store. Create and research how I could possibly turn it into “the best costume ever” worthy of awards and prizes.
  • Chastise myself saying that it will be the worst costume ever.
  • Lose all hope.
  • Bounce back and create a list based off of the one item (like a wig or a shirt or a skirt).
  • Try to find items in my closet that will make this costume complete.
  • Remind myself that I am not a costume designer.
  • Look at everyone else’s good ideas online.
  • Finally come up with an answer (or two).

I am still in the process of finalizing the costume. I’ll let you know how it goes. I would make a flow chart of these, but making flow charts takes me too long and I need to devote that time to not getting distracted.

My favorite costume ideas/sites of 2013 by various people!

  • “Sexy” costumes. I may actually save this image and come back to it next year…seriously, Sexy Hungry Man Dinner? So great!
  • Okay, these are babies, but still. Parker’s comment? “As opposed to all the costumes babies DO understand.” Touché, my dear.
  • Cat costumes. Parker does not approve, but given enough time and energy, our cat and dog may be Marty McFly and Doc Brown next year.
  • Wifey’s contribution to helping me make a decision.

    The last one was a Buzzfeed article that I can no longer find. 😦