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I’m going back to not capitalizing, because I’m no longer 12. Don’t misinterpret the implication that I’m too good or old for grammar and punctuation (that’s REALLY not the message I want to send), but when I was 12, I had this book called Write Source 2000. It was fucking amazing, and our teacher would have us leaf through it. If we weren’t sure what the difference between “your” and “you’re” was, we could check. If we didn’t KNOW if we should capitalize something, we’d check. Going through it in class and taking notes was actually a gleeful experience for me. I miss the kind of rush that comes from scholastic nerdiness. I don’t miss homework though, which is partially why I don’t have a PhD.

Anyway, I don’t have the book anymore, and I’m not going to look up capitalization rules every time I post, because it will take away from my free-flowing writing, aka rambling. Like this, instead of getting to the point.

The point of this post: I’m going to my high school reunion. 

Reasons I decided to go: 

  1. I’m in town.
  2. I’m not doing anything else that weekend.
  3. No one is RSVPing in bulk.
    I know this one sounds a little dumb. Why would I want to go to a reunion no one is attending? There are a few explanations to this.The first one is that I’m pretty sure everyone else is playing RSVP Chicken. This is stupid, because if Footloose has taught us anything, you could be seriously injured or die. Of course, there were tractors involved there, but still. People have RSVP’d on our social media page, but apparently they aren’t RSVPing in actuality.

    The second is related, but I cannot stand when people don’t RSVP. This happened at my wedding. You’re either going or not, it’s a few hours, and it only happens once. So in a way, I’m RSVPing, because I’m polite. Weird, but apparently this is important to my psyche.

  4. I’m showing them that just because I’m not on the planning committee (something I would have OWNED and possibly suffered a mental breakdown about), I’m not a bitter apple. I don’t want to be any kind of apple, actually.
  5. It’s at a brewery.
    I paid for two drink tickets per person, and we’re going to use them (a fact I had to go over with Parker who is nervous about socializing–although apparently he won’t be meeting many of my fellow ex-classmates)! ‘Cuz it’s a reunion, and there will be like 5 of us. Probably.
  6. I’ve watched Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion too many times to not go.
    I think there’s a law that if you watch it over 10 times, you are required by the Actor’s Guild to attend. I don’t know what the equivalent would be for say, Shindler’s List or something else, but we could turn this into a fun game.
  7. I need to dye my hair, and I don’t see it happening unless I go to this thing.
    I’m stretching the reasons here, but I really do hate dyeing my hair yet I like it to be dyed. See “You’ve got Red on You” in order to understand.
  8. I’m seriously hoping my unemployed friend from Seattle will come down so I can have a fellow unemployed friend to hang out with.
  9. Networking.
    Yeah, like that’s going to happen.
  10. Peer pressuring other people to go.
    I’m actually pretty weak at this since I wasn’t even sure until I booked it if I was going.
  11. No one is bringing their kids.
    They can’t. It’s a brewery, and also it’s in the rules.

Bea and I were talking about this the other day, because she’s not sure if she’s going to go. It feels like everyone is in some kind of pact, so I just told her that I already purchased tickets, so if she does decide to go, she can hang out with me. The truth is, I need someone I was friends with back in the day to gossip with if I go. If Frost were going, we’d probably have conversations for the next month about it, and I know that when I go he’ll be expecting a detailed report. I might be forced to take notes, but they’ll have to be in code. This will make me look insane…but to be fair, people knew me back in high school, so anything I do probably won’t be too surprising.

Bea tried to make me feel better about unemployment by saying that I’ve done lots of things since I graduated. This is true, but I’d feel better if I had an impressive title. I’ll have to think of some clever way of saying I’m unemployed.

I’m not entirely sure why Parker wants to go, maybe because I’m still friends with a number of people from high school so occasionally we digress into a half hour conversation about our teen years, and Parker would like to put faces to names and know who the hell we’re talking about. Hmm, I wonder if we’ll have to wear name tags…

It’s possible that people will see Parker and mistake him for someone we went to school with–another fun game. We’ll see how many people go.

Games to Play:

Taking notes for Frost in code.

Trying to figure out what films will make you do, since apparently Romy & Michele is a binding contract with thyself about reunions.

Seeing if people’s memories confuse them into thinking Parker went to our high school.

Will I actually dye my hair?

Come up with a clever title for being unemployed or an interesting way to say it without saying it.

Who will really go? I should make some kind of bet with someone. Not for money though, just gummy bears or something. Haribo, obviously, since they’re the gold standard for gummies. Swedish fish and coke bottle gummies will not be acceptable for gambling.

I just realized that because I’m unemployed that makes me Michele. What a strange coincidence…