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While avoiding death by a culmination of weird fucking symptoms that resulted in yoga, I surfed the ‘net to try and make this random witch brew of symptoms go away. (By yoga, I mean just the fetal position and excessive growling and almost crying on the couch that the dog may have misinterpreted as some kind of dog code. I apologized profusely and petted her with my feet and hands.)

Symptoms included:

  • Sinus migraine
  • Severe womanly medal-worthy pangs of stabbiness
  • Nausea
  • Dizziness
  • Confusion (why IS an empty box of tea on the shelf? Oh right, I’m sick so that was totally me doing something I HATE).
  • Rash on my hand that completely spread across my body last night. I lathered my body in various lotions/remedies. Something worked, because I fell asleep, but did NOT sleep well despite Benedryl.

Only after the majority of my symptoms ceased and desisted did I notice on my antibiotics the writing, “The most common side effects [include] diarrhea, nausea, and stomach pain.” The percentage is rare (less than 5% for all these), but as my friend Analiese used to say, “We are the zebras…not the horses.” None of these symptoms (except for the one time I disregarded the directions on HOW to take the medication) happened directly AFTER any medication. So I have no idea. Wheeee! The possibilities are endless.

So no luck, but increased anxiety when I searched for options to try and find ways to relieve my immune system issues. Prayer. Exercise. Diets and supplements (research on this is mixed, because apparently my immune system is rogue and rebellious as are anyone’s who suffer from this so the results vary). One article said something to the effect of “ha ha, sucks to be you. No particular diet is shown to improve everyone’s health across the board.” The supplement results are mixed as well. Thank you, internet, for being inconclusive!

My confusion is not helped by the fact that Parker and I have watched a couple of episodes of Darkplace, a campy British comedy. The first episode was brilliant, the second was very Carrie-like.

Once my sanity had pretty much returned, I looked up information and sent a perplexed email to the planning committee of my reunion. I feel my reputation’s at stake here, because the registration process is pretty straight forward, but due to multiple sign-up possibilities, I want to make sure I’m not purchasing a limo for me and 12 of my closest friends and renting a hotel. That is NOT my jam. Sorry guys, I’m on antibiotics and recommended remedies right now, although I didn’t admit to that (still no whiskey due to weakness, and frankly concern for my ongoing befuddlement…I mean alcohol will NOT improve that!).


One of the possibilities for The Reunited is a trip to a brewery. This sounds pretty fantastic to me, but they’re charging to get in which is bogus. I am tempted to locate the nearest brewery nearby and my urge to form an Anti-Reunion is returning. Seriously, I want shirts and capes and shit. Mainly, I’m excited about moving back and need any excuse to be both creative and self-important. Plus, all the “cool” kids are going to the regular reunion…and like 2 of my friends. None of my old high school friends will respond to my curiosity of whether they’re going.

A “hell no” would suffice as would ANY answer. “Because I hate you,” would sting a bit, but whatever, at least I’d know.