Right now, I’m sort of sick. Some allergy manifestation made up by the genie that lives in my nose and thinks my three wishes are endless sinus infections. When this happens, and I’m in between naps (I know, we’ve covered this, but it’s a review…there will be a test at the end), I rest on the couch with my head on these massive blue pillows we have that I cannot permanently sleep on, cuddle with the dog, and watch something while I rest and wonder if I can cure myself with Benedryl (answer: probably not).Yesterday, I watched Carrie for the first time. When I normally watch something, I yell at the tv. I get really worked up. I get angry, I get sad, I get scared, and my blood pumps through my veins. If I’m happy, I yell “YES!” Sometimes I punch the arm of whatever human friend is closest to me (Parker keeps his distance).
When I’m sick, that doesn’t happen. I still feel, because sickness doesn’t make me into a robot. If I WERE a robot, I wouldn’t be sick, right? Because I’d be UPGRADED! Instead of freaking out on the tv, my body is busy trying to rebuild itself from whatever is wrecking it, creating a higher tolerance for weird movies/tv, and therefore creating this monotone response to what’s going on. It’s like when you take a shower and the mirror fogs up. You look at yourself, but you’re all blurry. Whatever I feel is still there, it’s just muted or the sound is turned down. Which I actually did have to do with Carrie, because people always talk quietly, but then the music gets loud and shit gets crazy, and I don’t like that–especially when I’m sick. The sound aspect, not necessarily shit getting crazy on screen.
We’re not including when I’m super horribly, terribly sick, because that makes me really sad/depressed/anxious, and then I just cry a lot. Moving on!
Anyway, so I found myself identifying with Carrie. I write for The Inquisitive Loon, so I wrote a review about it. She is bullied at home, at school, and locked in a fucking closet (okay, mine wasn’t that extreme). How can you NOT identify with Carrie or at least sympathize/empathize with her a little bit?
Parker: How’s the movie?
Me: It’s good. I can’t wait for Carrie to kick ass.
I’m not condoning telekinetic violence or any kind of response like this. However, I’ve been picked on before, and I can tell you that this film should be an example of how NOT to treat people. I wish everyone in my sixth grade class had watched this before I arrived. I actually wish the girl in my first grade class who stole my crayons had to watch this. On second thought, she’d probably just not get it and become an arsonist. Maybe she is…we don’t keep in touch. The crayon thievery kind of ruined any potential friendship.
It’s good to know that I can watch things in an altered state of mind and think about them in alternatively (but not a drug addled one…unless you count allergy meds and NSAIDS that don’t affect it in that quantity. If you do, that’s cool too). I can’t wait to go back and watch Game of Thrones Season 3 when I’m sick (okay, that’s just an excuse, because I want to watch it IN GENERAL). “The Rains of Castamere” will not invoke remotely the same response as it will under normal circumstances. Part of me thought that watching something I’d previously seen while sick made a difference, but it doesn’t. It’s like how food doesn’t quite taste normal. It’s also nice to know I have these little experiments when I’m running a fever, and this experience is somewhat enjoyable without being disconcerting. It’s nice to know that there is an upside to being ill and half awake.
I have been trying to become more communicative when angry or curbing my responses to negative situations. Becoming more Zen-like. I am still looking forward to Chuck Klosterman’s new book I Wear the Black Hat: Grappling with Villains, Real and Imagined.
Then I watched Comedians of Comedy: Live at the Troubador (which kind of sucked, by the way), and Patton Oswalt talked about time machines and loving characters like Vader. A poignant view since I just watched Carrie.
A non sequitur: I am having a crappy time doing this blog challenge. Just FYI. I’m still going to try, but it may not go well. If I could just write, I would, but this by the book numbering is throwing me off. Otherwise, I’d be half done already.