In the last day, I decided to read a diary from 5 years ago.
I normally think of myself as delightfully quirky, and I am indeed proud of that. Even if it comes in little spurts throughout an otherwise outwardly normal looking personality.
What I remembered it as:
This diary was me in the craziest talespin ever. Usually reading my past is a mixed bag of lovely reminiscence with pangs of emotional turmoil. I like to think that the crazy vibes I emit are positive and beautiful.
This was NOT that.
[Image/video not found, because I couldn’t find anything to accurately describe the total FUBAR 2/3 of a year spewing from the journal.]
I got a real-ish job. I moved into my own place and paying bills. The process of growing up began.
Parker and I became friends. Then I fell for him and refused to confide to anyone except Wifey (my roommate) whose trust and loyalty was unyielding. And I vowed that I would become an upstanding person and crumple the past into a ball. I wanted to be the good version of me. Not like The Darkest Timeline.
I haven’t burned the past. I’m tempted to, but I haven’t. I’m leaving it where it is…a reminder that I must never go back.
On the other hand, I’ve been playing a lot of the game Little Inferno courtesy of Steam, so who’s to say I won’t end up gutting half of that year?
The important thing is that five years ago was a turning point for me when I chose more definitively than ever before what I wanted my life to look like. The fact that a handsome, smart, amazing man happened to fall in love with me at the same time just happens to be a wonderful bonus. But that is a long story for another day.