Backstory: Parker may or may not have a sinus infection. His allergies are really bad, and he slept a lot of today and read. He also managed to make me breakfast though, since I felt sick too. He got us a sick kit from the store with all the essential sick items. He is my superhero.
Parker (looking at islands online): What about this one?
Me: For us? To buy?
Me: It kind of looks like a vagina.
Parker: No, it doesn’t.
Me: Yes, it does. It’s still cool though. It’s an island.
Parker: This island has amenities! There’s liquor, food, building supplies, and bowling. This is all ten minutes away.
Me: Yeah, but will they deliver pizza to the island?
Parker: No, probably not.
Me: But what if I want pizza? We have to boat ten minutes to it?
Me: What’s the location?
Parker: It’s up north, by Canada. THIS IS CALLED SWEET ISLAND!! Dude, what’s your island called? Sweet, what about yours? Dude. (Dude, Where’s My Car, anyone?)
Me: …I want to go there.
Parker: Okay, I need to go to bed.
Me: You slept all day.
Parker: I slept for 3 or 4 hours tops. YOU kept waking me up.
Me: YEAH, with love. To take your temperature and get you water and feed you. Make sure you didn’t need to go to the hospital. Sorry, I’m an awesome wife. I also made us some dinner, did dishes, and threw a bunch of stuff around the room. See what I do for you? I love you!
Parker: Fine, I’ll stay up and read with you.
Me: You can go to bed if you want. I’ll get you things.
Parker: I’ll stay up. Advil and allergy meds?
Me: Pain pill and a Bene (pronounced Ben-E) coming up!
Parker: Two benes, please.
Me: Yes, sir…it’s weird that we call them that, huh?
(For some unknown reason, my family and some of my close friends and I make up crazy words. I said “funsies” at work the other day by accident, and a client laughed at me.)
Parker: Just a little. I mean, you COULD give them to me in a plastic bag.
Me: You’d have to pay me in cash, and I already know you don’t have the money on you.
Parker: Just the pills then.
(Montage of me running around the house getting meds and tea and maaaaaybe leftover coffee.)
Me: I can’t believe I’m drinking “coffee at midnight…” (I lapsed into “Meet Virginia.”) I’m wacky, huh?
Parker: It is a gangsta life you lead.