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Mom: I made a mistake. I think my friend and I both bought tickets to Willie Nelson. Now we have four tickets and two people.

Me: What are you going to do?

Mom: I want to take R&R, but they don’t want to leave the dogs alone.

Me: For 3 hours?

Mom Yeah…I have an idea though.

Me: Does it involve kidnapping the dogs so your friends will go to the concert with you?

Mom: It doesn’t. I’m going to see if their son can dog-sit. [texts]

Me: Can he?

Her [reading text]: Nope, he can’t leave the state…okay, new idea. There’s a lady who always wants to dog sit for me. She could watch the dogs at their place while we go to the concert. I could take her!

Me: On a two hour roadtrip where she does not end up going to a concert?

Her: Yes, a vacation.

Me: So, you’re going to kidnap her?

Mom: No, it would be fun!

Me: Does R2 need to interview her first?

Mom (sigh): I don’t know!

Me: What if you, your friend who booked the other tickets, the dog sitter, and R1 go to the concert, and R2 stays at home with the dogs?

Mom: No, because if she can’t go, he can’t go.

Me: What?? This is getting beyond ridiculous. That’s like “I can’t drink, SO NO ONE CAN!” (The caps lock portion was said in my evil overlord voice.)

Mom: I know, it is.

Me: What if YOU kidnap R1?

Mom: No one is getting kidnapped, Weird Button. I’ll just have to come up with a new plan.

Fortunately, my mom didn’t have to, because as it turns out, she did NOT have four tickets to the concert. She had two.

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