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Earlier today, I posted My Life in Ten Questions based on another blogger’s answers when he saw the article in The Independent (you can look, your fingers *probably* aren’t broken). Til saw my response to things I would save in a fire, and his words were (and I may or may not be paraphrasing), “Why am I not surprised that the dog is listed before your husband?”

And now I look like a bad wife. Thanks, Til.

I was going to respond, but then I realized that there were thousands of people out there reading my blog who commented with similar queries. The out-of-control responses were said angrily and hastily and there was no telling if they would go back to read the comment section. And by “this happened,” I mean, this COULD happen.

Most likely if they’re NOT dog owners, they are thinking the same thing Til did, but without the context of knowing me. Like, “Yeah, what is up with that? She’d save her husband SECOND? What is wrong with this monster?” It would be downhill from there, so I decided to respond with another post instead of in the comments where it could get lost easily.

  1. The dog is pretty small (easier to carry AND more like a child who would need assistance).
  2. She’s more easily scared than Parker and more likely to panic.
  3. Presumably, Parker can save himself from the fire. I almost didn’t put him down at all, because he’s so capable.
  4. I reconsidered the possibility that I WOULD need to save Parker, so I put him down too, because I LOVE HIM. Not as an afterthought.
  5. If I know there’s a fire, there’s a 110% chance Parker knows now too, because I freaked out screaming and now he actually has to save me. And the dog.
  6. The dog may have overcome all odds of strength and reality and managed to save Parker. This varies in my mind at the idea of the dog magically shrinking him and her pulling him in some Lassie, dog-heroic attempt. Of course, if the dog can magically shrink him then she can also feed herself and put out a fire. Moving on…
  7. The cat is not on the list. I just wanted to point that out. Chances are she started the fire roasting the corpses of her enemies. Let the record show if she can impossibly work her way through the labyrinth of the underground apartment system and pop up thereby scaring our neighbors by jumping out of their closet, she can totally find a way out. I’m sure I would see her riding out on a Phoenix or a Dragon before I could even TRY to save her.

…okay, we’d probably save the cat too, but I’m telling you, we really wouldn’t need to.