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Parker: You know how we went back to sleep today?

Me: Yes, I was there for that.

Parker: I ended up having this bizarre dream. We had this sofa, kind of like the one we have now. You were taking all the lunch meat I brought home and stacking it…under the sofa. I had thought you were just throwing it away or eating it. It smelled really bad, and when I found it I got really angry. I confronted you about it, and you just kept saying, “Oh, you KNOW!”

Me: Did I say it in a funny way?

Parker: No, you were really mad, and we ended up having this big argument. I was happy to wake up and not be dreaming anymore. I was so upset in the dream.

Me: Were you relieved that I was not hiding meat under the sofa, or did you feel the need to check?

Parker: No, I was relieved.

Me: Well, I’m not hiding meat under the sofa. Yet. That’s funny, because you acted kind of off when we woke up, but you were also reading.

Parker: No, you were right. I was weirded out.

Yesterday

Me (to Pinterest): Ugh, I hate these stupid baby shirts!

Parker: I’ve been seeing these onesies online for babies about pooping. What do you think about those?

Me: I’m not a fan. It’s like when you offered to get me a “Coffee Makes Me Poop!” mug. Everyone is already aware of its diuretic properties, so it’s redundant to have on a mug.

Parker: Exactly! You already have to think about the fact that your kid poos all the time.

Me: Way too much. You shouldn’t really need extra reminders.

Parker (in a glassy eyed kind of way): I’m glad that we both don’t think that’s funny. I’m happy that we–

Me: –Share a similar sense of humor?

Parker: Yeah. That we both feel that way, instead of one of us thinking it’s funny.

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