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I just finished a review that I guest wrote for The Inquisitive Loon. After re-writing, I still have several half-reviews written. I’ll get it done eventually, right?

Thanks, Imgur

Thanks, Imgur

I finished the episode today, but I had to go back and rewatch it. That’s the story I’m telling now.

Last night, I finally got the chance to watch the first episode of the new season of Mad Men. As the years go on and the internet gets bigger, my bladder gets smaller, and my cups don’t hold enough beverage, it becomes harder for me to sit through a whole episode or movie without interrupting myself or whoever is next to me. Some evil trolls at drastically different stages of my life said offhand that I could be “ADD.” They didn’t say this out of concern, they said it as an insult. I know people with ADD, so I get mad when people throw around terms they know nothing about. You heard it in passing? Ohhhh you must be an expert! I will attest that I get sidetracked easily, but I’ve been tested. I’m not ADD. I just happen to believe that our society fosters a razzle dazzle effect that leaves you with vertigo, overwhelmed, or both. I may have a short attention span, but I like to think that comes from all the creativity and imagination just bursting out of me. It’s true though, I’m not great at multi-tasking.

Demotivational Posters, aka me last night minus the screaming child

Demotivational Posters, aka me last night minus the screaming child and the car.

Back to the topic. So I was watching Mad Men’s “The Doorway,” and I had some wine and beer. Both, because I had some leftover wine from the other day, and we had one beer I liked left in the fridge (I was not drinking them simultaneously). I think if you’re watching episodes of Mad Men completely sober, then you’re not watching the show the way it was intended to be watched. I’m not saying “get wasted and watch it,” but Mad Men has such heavy themes that fostering a little buzz is ideal.

A terrible idea is drinking too much and watching Mad Men or similarly drinking a little and watching it at a time of day (or night) where you run the risk of sleepiness. Especially beer, for the adult toddler that wants something that feels like a snack, then makes them nappy. I started watching the show around 10:30 or 11pm, and ideally, I like to review as I go along. I get really excited when I watch tv, especially new episodes, but if you watch the series, you know there are a lot of character nuances to observe as you go along. I talk a lot about characters and their development when I review. Sue me, I majored in that shit, and this is how I use my degree (that sentence alone gives me something in common with Mad Men).

Eventually, it was 1am, and I still was nowhere close to finishing the episode. I think at one point, I looked up, it was later than I had planned, and I was still only 1/3 of the way through the episode. To be fair, I remembered today that shows like to do a 2-hour season premiere when they start up after an especially long hiatus. That was my fault and miscalculation.

My review is full of spoilers, but let’s just say, a show that’s already dark has a particularly foreboding tone to it. I fell asleep, and I dreamed that my parents were both Roger Sterling and deceased, and I was becoming Roger. It was a weird fucking dream, and my head was philosophically considering what it all meant as I slept to the sound of Don Draper and company.

I woke up on the couch in our humid apartment with both the cat and the dog giving me these looks that said, “You fell asleep on the couch, and it was WEIRD.”

“Stop judging me,” I said. Turning to Parker, I said, “Falling asleep while watching Mad Men is the worst. I won’t be doing that again.” Maybe by saying it aloud, I will prevent it.

I had a much better dream afterwards about Troy and Abed from Community and woke up feeling refreshed and more peaceful than my restless nap on the couch.

If you watch “The Doorway,” you’ll see what I mean.

Endnote: I had to go back and watch the whole episode, because I talked to JR. Apparently, I missed the last 15 minutes of Mad Men the second time I watched it. Wow. Anyway, I watched all of it now, so there’s no ambiguity. 2 hours, you guys, not 1 hour and 45 minutes.

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