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I feel like if I had a Youtube channel, I would reach a bigger audience. While showing your face is not like showing your boobs or what-have-you, it’s just not something I’m interested in. Below are my reasons.

  1. I’d have to wear make up like Jenna Marbles, have a low-cut top, etc. Therefore, I’d have to go to the trouble of purchasing make up and low cut shirts. Note: you can already see why I don’t fit in in the South. That, and flat, straight hair that I never bother to do. This isn’t the prom…I don’t need to look like I’m going there. I try to avoid looking like a flaming pile of feces unless I’m sick, then I care even less than normal and probably look like just that. However, I don’t feel I need to do all the stuff that female Youtubers typically do, and I feel like viewers would, well, VIEW, and subsequently judge.
  2. There would probably be an entire Youtube episode dedicated to just showing you how I put on make up. It depends on where I’m going, but it would probably be a 3 second video where you watch me put cover up on and say “ta da!” Waste of your time and mine. Also, nothing you’ve never seen before. I’m not a connoisseur like the chick who can look like Angelina Jolie OR Avatar. Or Peeta from The Hunger Games who can make his arm look like a tree. If I could, I wouldn’t be blogging! I’d be looking like a tree somewhere, I mean, making lots of money. Looking like a tree somewhere.
  3. I would have to memorize what I felt like saying. You know how you say a word over and over and it loses its meaning? By the time I finished, I wouldn’t feel like it was funny OR important, and I wouldn’t post it.
  4. I could improv, but that’s not always pretty.
  5. I’d have to go through the trouble to read Youtube comments. Nice, vulgar, creepy, scary, racist, sexist comments. I don’t read Youtube comments. It’s NOT like Reddit (which I will occasionally read).
  6. You would have to suffer through the experience of me seeing myself on camera where I get really thrilled and narcissistic. It would probably start and end with, “MAN, I LOOK HOT!” I don’t like to subject people to that. Another reason why I don’t wear make up.
  7. It would be like My Drunk Kitchen without the kitchen. Which means my costs for alcohol would be really high, and I can’t really write that off as a “business venture.” Besides, I’ve already gone over the “being unable to speak in coherent sentences” problem.

Blogging has appeal, because you deal with unlimited time/editing/flow to speak and be heard without being interrupted. Which is also why I enjoy letters. Why does no one love letters except me? Is it the post office? Is it the handwriting? No one likes theirs, but like it or not, it’s a part of you. Nothing says “I care” like a handwritten letter…because I am 112 years old. I make a terrible phone companion, because I’m always interrupting. However, I am funnier. If I ever have an exceptional conversation with someone, I’ll record it, but until then, looks like you’re gonna have to read.

I was actually going to blog about something else, but the mood isn’t catching me right, so I’ll have to wait. In the meantime, watch My Drunk Kitchen. It’s funny in a live tv kind of way.

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