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Today was like other days, but weirder. To be me. Today, I REALLY started my period as opposed to whatever before was. Men of WordPress, it happens.

Morning: Wake up ill-ish. (Not unusual for me.)
Am I going to CRY? Nope, not pain related. JUST BECAUSE.
Made coffee to boost my mood.

Afternoon: Arrive at work. MAD. At everyone for everything! Oh hey, co-worker, I like you.
This goes on for some time off an on all day. Time to take pain meds.

Late Afternoon: Starve like a waif in Les Miserables. Nope, not going to do the accents over the letters.
Eat every item of food I brought all day, in rapid succession, then continue to eat the nuts I brought until they’re gone. Offer food to co-workers only to make peace. I don’t feel like sharing, but I will. Am I Jean Val-Jean? Nope, ‘cuz this food is PAID FOR!

Evening: Hectic moments with clients. Start laughing uncontrollably after it dies down. Prospective client comes in. I make a terrible joke and only stop laughing when she frowns and doesn’t laugh. I know I’m funny, and that’s all that matters.

Later Evening: Okay, now two people in a row have not smiled or laughed at me. Do I have food all over my face? Would people TELL ME? 
Co-worker finds a water bottle. Unopened. Belongs to no one. SCORE! Now it’s mine.
Holy shit, I’m so consumed with gluttony that I’m taking unopened water bottles. But NOT without asking!

End of Day: I am crashing hardcore. I intend on sleeping the second I finish eating dinner…pork chops that I keep accidentally calling steak. What if I fall asleep in my food?

After Work: I can’t wait to sleep, but I have a really bad headache. Take some Nyquil. Try to fall asleep, but am sidetracked by a mean craving for…more food. Make toast with peanut butter. I don’t even like that…why am I eating it?
Now, I’m awake, AND I want porkchops.

At least I didn’t call them steak.