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My husband called to tell me he wasn’t feeling well earlier today. He has been taking Ibuprofen all morning. He bought orange juice and is now on his second DayQuil since he’s been home. Yet according to him, he shouldn’t take an easy meal (we have several options) over one he prepares just because he’s “feeling lazy.” I tried to explain to him that feeling sick and feeling “lazy” aren’t the same thing, but he’s not buying it.

Instead of worrying about that and this weird bill passing in Iowa to make divorce harder so women won’t be promiscuous (I could write a whole article just on that, and it would be HILARIOUS, except it wouldn’t be), I will talk about how I’m about to reach a milestone.

On the horizon is my first, major high school reunion. Alumni at my high school also get special discounts during Alumni Week, in order to make us feel older than we already feel. We are the senior citizens of the high school. I wonder if they pass out canes and stool softener as well! That’s probably not part of the Reunion FAQ, although it should be. Which is why I want to be on the committee. Not the sole reason, just one of a few.

Update: My husband is outside grilling. I asked about tea earlier, because he said he was going to make some. His response was, “No, I’m going outside to make food.” Like he can only do one or the other. Then I saw that he’d filled up the teapot but didn’t turn it on. I shouldn’t be concerned. I do that stuff all the time. Of course, I also get sick more often than he does…or do I get lazy? Either way, I took the dog downstairs, because she was very upset that he was not in the room with us. Probably because she also read the article about divorce and is now simultaneously afraid that her no-fur father is leaving us AND that she or I will become promiscuous (I assume he’d get the cat in the divorce, so her sexual waywardness is his problem).

I showed her that we are NOT divorcing, and he’s making food on the grill. Since fire scares her, she ran into the hall, and then I teased that we were making smoke signals, and she was next on the grill. Then I apologized profusely, because we love her, we would never eat her, and she doesn’t get my humor. She ran inside and is currently sitting on my lap staring at my husband who is also back inside. Apparently, the grilling really didn’t take that long! I also almost accidentally locked him outside, so I am back in the Losing My Mind game and pulling ahead for the win.

Anyway, I want to be on the committee. I don’t know what I would do on it, as I am no longer local to my high school area. Otherwise, I think it would probably be a lot like Bring it On, where they have that cheer squad committee (note: I’ve never SEEN Bring it On, so I can only assume it’s a lot like the parody from Not Another Teen Movie. My husband will laugh when he reads this part, because I often see/listen to parodies before I watch/hear the real McCoy). Or the South Park episode where Wendy and the other girls head up a committee, and the inspiration for my title comes from.

Our Director of Alumni Relations didn’t really give me a list of to-do’s, so I was left to my own imagination. My brain said two things to me. The first was, “There is literally nothing to do! She told you the website does most of the work. Does that mean ALL of the work? That’d be cool!” The second said, “OH NO, when they don’t tell you that means, if they told you, you’d never sign up. What am I doing to myself?”

Nothing has been decided yet as far as I know. I’m far away, so for all I know, they could be completely done. However, I’m told that the main liaison is currently out of the country, so I sincerely doubt that. According to the email, I am not the only one who wants to help plan the reunion. Now I’m thinking of a Game of Thrones or House of Cards situation. Kind of a jump on my part, as this is a volunteer position. I’m pretty sure they’re not going to pass out a list of who’s going, but I WILL know who I am working with to plan this. It’s probably better to not pass out a list of attendees anyway, because nothing says emotional maturity like being back in a room with all your closest frenemies.

My husband also found a link on Reddit about 10 year high school reunions, but I don’t recommend reading it if you actually want to go. It’s like The Mice and Men of summing up an event. It’s not even the greatest Reddit post I’ve ever scrolled through. If you have no intention of going, and you want to renew your willpower about not attending, then definitely read it. You still will totally not want to go, and your assumptions will all be restored to their factory settings.

More on this later.